For anniversary gifts by year, paper marks the first wedding anniversary, cotton the second and leather the third in both the Emily Post Institute’s classic list and Debrett’s British list, compared below. After that, the details sometimes differ. Use the theme to suggest a gift he wants, or carry the reference into the card.
Key facts
- Paper is the first wedding anniversary theme, cotton the second and leather the third in both the Emily Post classic list and Debrett’s British list.
- For the sixth anniversary, the Emily Post classic list gives iron and Debrett’s gives sugar.
- The 25th anniversary is sterling silver in the Emily Post classic list and silver in Debrett’s.
- Both lists give gold for the 50th anniversary and diamond for the 60th.
- Debrett’s lists steel for the 11th anniversary and platinum for the 70th; the Emily Post classic column lists neither year.
These are wedding-anniversary themes, so you don’t have to apply them to a dating anniversary.
Go to the year-by-year table, early-year gift ideas or later milestones.
The traditional anniversary list, with the differences shown
The US-based Emily Post Institute publishes classic and modern suggestions; this table uses only its classic column. Debrett’s publishes a British wedding-anniversary list. Neither is a rule that everyone in either country follows. “Not listed” means the year is absent from that source’s table.
| Wedding anniversary | Emily Post classic | Debrett’s British |
|---|---|---|
| 1st | Paper | Paper |
| 2nd | Cotton | Cotton |
| 3rd | Leather | Leather |
| 4th | Fruit or flowers | Flowers or fruit |
| 5th | Wood | Wood |
| 6th | Iron | Sugar |
| 7th | Copper or wool | Wool or copper |
| 8th | Bronze | Bronze or pottery |
| 9th | Willow or pottery | Willow or pottery |
| 10th | Aluminum or tin | Tin |
| 11th | Not listed | Steel |
| 12th | Not listed | Silk or linen |
| 13th | Not listed | Lace |
| 14th | Not listed | Ivory* |
| 15th | Crystal | Crystal |
| 20th | China | China |
| 25th | Sterling silver | Silver |
| 30th | Pearl | Pearl |
| 35th | Coral* | Coral* |
| 40th | Ruby | Ruby |
| 45th | Sapphire | Sapphire |
| 50th | Gold | Gold |
| 55th | Emerald | Emerald |
| 60th | Diamond | Diamond |
| 70th | Not listed | Platinum |
*Ivory and coral are listed only because both sources name them. We don’t suggest buying either. For those years, choose a different gift he wants, or use the theme’s name or color in a card.
Years missing from the later part of the table still deserve a celebration. Pick your own theme, repeat an idea you both enjoyed or skip the material tradition.
Choose how closely you want to follow the theme
Before shopping, decide whether the theme will be the gift itself, one detail of the gift or simply its presentation. That gives you more room to choose something he likes.
For paper, you could give a book he has mentioned, frame a photograph you both love or write a letter to open over dinner. The letter can also go with a completely different present.
You don’t need to give the material a grand meaning. You can say, “It’s our paper year, and I wanted to write down a few things I loved about this one.” That explains the choice without any claim about what paper stands for in a marriage.
If you enjoy the tradition and he does not, keep it light. You could give him something from his wish list with a card that mentions the year’s theme.
Gift ideas for the early years
Paper and cotton: make a familiar pleasure the gift
For the first year, think about what he likes to read, see or remember. A book can have a short note inside; a printed photograph can come with the date and place written on the back. If you choose tickets, start with an event he actually wants to attend and a date you can both manage.
For cotton, a shirt in a style he already wears, a cotton scarf with a print he likes or something useful for a shared hobby can work. If sticking to the theme matters to you, check that it’s actually cotton. Don’t buy clothes in a guessed size just because the fabric fits the year.
Leather and wood: choose around an existing habit
A leather notebook cover might suit someone who carries a notebook; a wallet makes sense if he wants to replace his. A leather bracelet is an option if he enjoys wearing one. The theme does not tell you which design, fastening or size he will like.
For the third year, the leather anniversary guide compares a bracelet, wallet, notebook cover and pouch around the way he would actually use the gift.
For wood, consider a picture frame for a photograph you have chosen together, a useful desk object or a box sized for an actual collection. Let the purpose lead. An inscription is optional, and the message can stay in the card if he prefers the object plain.
Fruit, flowers or sugar: give something to enjoy together
A gift does not have to become a permanent possession. You could bring fruit he especially enjoys to a picnic, choose flowers in colors he likes or plan a dessert tasting at home.
At six years the lists split: iron in one, sugar in the other. Pick either, agree on one together or ignore both.
Later milestones without an automatic jewelry purchase
Precious-metal and gemstone themes can suggest jewelry, but they do not set a budget or require an increasingly expensive gift. Decide what you can comfortably spend before choosing the object.
If he wants a bracelet, start with what he wears now and what he would enjoy changing. A bracelet in the same color as the year’s metal isn’t necessarily made of it, so read the material description. “Silver-colored” and “sterling silver” mean different things. For the bracelet choice itself, see our guide to anniversary bracelets for men.
You can also interpret a color through a book cover, a print or the wrapping. Just be clear that it’s the color you’re borrowing, not the gemstone or metal. A card saying “A little blue for our sapphire year” can explain the reference without pretending the gift contains sapphire.
For steel specifically, our eleventh-anniversary gift guide explores that theme in more detail. Steel comes from Debrett’s list; the Emily Post classic list has no entry for year eleven.
When the year is right but the gift is wrong
If he does not wear jewelry, dislikes leather or has asked for no more objects, go with that. Offer something he wants to do, replace an item he has chosen or make time for a celebration you both enjoy. The material theme can remain a line in your note.
You can also choose the gift together and keep the presentation a surprise. Ask, “Would you like to pick something for our anniversary, or would you rather plan a day out?” It is easier to choose well when you agree on the kind of present first.
Write a note about this year: something you enjoyed together, something you appreciated about him or a plan you are looking forward to. One specific sentence can do more than a long explanation of the anniversary symbol.
For a relationship anniversary before marriage, our guide to dating-anniversary gifts at six months, one year and two years takes a different approach. You can find more ideas for weddings and other milestones in the occasion gift guides.
Sources
- Emily Post Institute: Classic Etiquette, Anniversary Gifts by Year
- Debrett’s: Marital milestones: how to celebrate a wedding anniversary